i want to smash my soul on your brain.

Yasmine is so funny with her cat
They got a new gerbil yesterday, my prayers are with the little guy.

i am losing who i am little by little. with each day that passes, i am falling. i am letting life happen to me.

i'm different. i'm anxious, i'm jaded, i'm bitter, i am ashamed. i am fifteen years old and i sometimes have trouble finding things to live for. i don't know who i am or what i want. i utterly hate myself for the choices i am currently making and the ones i have made. i go over every mistake. i live in constant fear that everyone will leave. that i'm not good enough. that i will fail.

i have lost so many things that meant the world to me. i lost so many parts of myself that meant the world to me.

Mine and Ashlee's snowman, and my dog Snuggles running or well trying to run to my dad. haha

This was behind the scenes of a shoot last week. We rented the most epic clothing. It was seriously gorgeous in a post apocalypse way...

I just saw the photos and they are KILLER.

Like the lavender hair?

Currently Listening to "Sweet Caroline (cover)" by Mark Salling

I love bubble baths. They are very relaxing to me and I find them very useful when trying to collect my thoughts. I like to turn the hot water on and pour in my Berry Blast Transformers Bubble Bath. But then I turn the lights out. I prefer taking baths in the pitch black... is that weird?

You see, I prefer my baths this way because there is no difference between having my eyes open and having my eyes closed... I can see nothing either way! And that is very important for me when I sit in the hot water and dream. I am of the opinion that people should dream with their eyes open and with their eyes closed. People should dream all the time, whether when awake or asleep! I feel it promotes optimism and it give people something to…

We just finished up our last three shows of 2009 and for awhile for that matter. The first one was our hometown show in Arizona. I wasnt to sure what to think it is always kinda strange for us to play at home. There is alot more that goes into it. All of our family is there and it gets kinda stressful. The show went really it was awesome to play with all of our friends and it was a true Arizona show every band that played was from around town. This Century did amazing as usual, they might have played the best I have ever heard them play.

The second show was in Tucson, AZ it was only about an hour and half drive so we all hopped on the van again and drove down. Even more than the night before I was very unsure on how it was going…

SHY RONNIE
Apparently I am really behind on pop-culture, or this could just be because I really don’t like SNL. Regardless, this clip is f’n hilarious. Favorite part is “speak up”.

Spin the dreidel. If the dreidel lands on "gimel," you win all the "gold" in the pot (actually gold-foil chocolate coins).

This photo is a little late, as the Dreidel game is traditionally a Hanukkah game, and Hanukkah is over. But I couldn’t find anything that said Hanukkah was the only time you could play!

How to play the Dreidel game

I think I'm going on a hiatus for a few weeks. I haven't really been feeling that great generally and I've felt pretty much ignored everywhere. So I'm just gonna disappear for a little bit I think and try to regain my apathy towards people not caring about me.

Anyways, happy christmas to everyone and happy new year. I'll be back by Jan, I'm sure.

l8rs.