i want to smash my soul on your brain.

this post is from january 28th on another blog. i am only posting it here today cause a. i found it b. it still made me laugh and c. i've got mohawks on the brain. original text is as follows:

"I'm sorry dudes, but I really just needed a laugh. See, my rental car got towed, my mom got pissed, my mohawk-sporting sort of boyfriend was like, 4 timing me (for the 4th time) but it's all good cause it was my fault for falling for his bullshit again... anyway, that's not the point. The point is that if you happen to make the uninformed decision that I did a few months ago (dating dudes with mohawks is a bad idea), or the informed one I made a couple months later (dating dudes with mohawks is still a bad idea), or the even more informed one I made a few months after that (you should never date dudes that have mohawks), look to this to dry your tears (or at least to turn 'em into the kind you get from laughing too hard):

Let's keep in mind that I don't care about Tom Cruise in the tabloids (I meaning C4 and Orphan Records--we don't care...) and I don't care about the whole Scientology thing. What I do care about is when shits funny. And this shits funny. You should watch it. Because even if it doesn't cheer you up, it will most definitely make you smile. And if you look at it often enough, you'll be smiling more than you're not smiling, which means it will have cheered you up. See how that goes?

This is the end of my Wonder Years episode post and I'm sorry I promise I'll never do it again. But at least I'm smilin' now.
Maybe.

Steer clear of the hawk,
c4

This isn't like that "news" post over at the other buzzmob. This actually just happened for real. Members who should expect something in the mail within the next few days include:

alcy
ikkyg
amberlydahling
punkstar86
tiffanyterror
goldengirl

A little peek at what these cats are getting:












Why?

Ask them.
Want some?
Join the Buzzmob.
In the Buzzmob but not on this list?
DO SOMETHING!

What's there to do? Promote the Veronica's contest, design and post All Time Low, Tokio Hotel, and Buzznet banners with the appropriate URLs on 'em... go check it out, and read stuff before you decide you're confused!

xoC4

So  you know those little profile badges you get after you complete the first mission at the buzzmob? They're like, red, and they say MOB on 'em?

Look:




Well, they no longer direct people to the buzzmob graveyard. Now they send people here:

http://www.buzznet.com/groups/buzzmob

which is also where you should be sending new Buzzmob recruits.

Anybody who has signed up at the other Buzzmob site since April 1st will not receive credit for points earned. There isn't really any way you could've earned a ton of points since there hasn't been a mission on that site for quite some time. So stop what you're doing if you're on the other site, it's a waste of time!

Instead, visit http://www.buzznet.com/groups/buzzmob

and get crackin' on THOSE missions, cause there are tons, and I've already started sending out prizes. Don't believe me? Ask ounceofwentz, tiffanyterror, alcy, thraseia, and goldengirl.

Also, for those of you who were members of the old Buzzmob when it was active, please check the NEW Buzzmob forum for instructions on how to redeem your points. And stop recruiting to the old site before I lop off your cyber heads!

This is the hold up:

I need someone to help prepare for another BUZZMOB mission (sorry, but the "someone" must be limited buzzmob members ONLY...) The task involves a tiny bit of research, but probably in the forum topic for mission #1 only. If you have about an hour or so to spare & you want a free CD (or something) please IM me, or send me an email.

AIM: aeolusFOUR
Yahoo: kindofadraag
MSN: cstern@buzznet.com
ICQ 481106619
GTalk: c4@fantasticweapon.com

New BUZZMOB prize: Debut release from Does It Offend You, Yeah?out on 4/15/2008 by Almost GoldJust in case you don't know what it is...

**NOTE** This entry was originally for the Bring Me The Horizon/Metal Hammer Golden Gods Giveaway, but has been moved to the toolbox because that contest is over and I think it's still a helpful resource.


I know I've mentioned this & I know you guys have access to the embed code on the contest page, but dude - START USING IT!

Maybe it'll help if I explain the contest to you guys a little better. It's being promoted on BUZZNET through one of the UK's hottest, up-and-coming acts in metal - Bring Me The Horizon. The winners (there will be 5 grand prize winners!) get 2 tickets to an extremely exclusive Metal-only awards show. The show is ON A BOAT IN THE THAMES RIVER and from what I gather, the performance line-up is seriously brutal.

What do I mean when I say metal? I mean all of it. Heavy Metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Psychedelic Doom Metal, Hair Metal - even Metalocalypse-style metal. Confused?

Mama knows. But she also knows it's gonna be ok guys. Really. As long as you educate yourself you'll be fine. Do so by visiting these sites:

Metal Hammer
Cephallic Carnage
Metal-rules.com

And listening to some metal at these links:
Bring Me The Horizon on MySpace
Metal For The Masses on Last.fm

After that, your mission is to promote this contest till you're blue in the face. I might even make you send me pictures of you with a blue face to prove it! (That's a joke, don't worry.) Here are some ideas of where to post the banner ad for the Bring Me the Horizon/Metal Hammer/Golden Gods Giveaway:

1. Search livejournal for metal communities & make sure they havent posted about the contest yet. Then send messages to members who are residents of the UK & at least 16 years old. Or join the community yourself & post about it.
2. Search last.fm for UK residents who are over 16 & listen to some of the metal bands you've just learned about. Post the URL in their shoutboxes or send them private messages. (If you want to do this please message me for the correct code to use. Last.fm uses different code!)





3. Join UK Facebook groups about metal & post links or write on their walls.
   





4. Post the link to your Facebook using the posted items application provided by facebook.
   
   
   
   
   
    
   




5. Wordpress.com user? Write an entry about the contest, post the code, and tag it with relevent terms like metal, music, contest, Metal Hammer, brutal, bring me the horizon, bmth, iron maiden, golden gods, motorhead, etc.

GET CREATIVE!!!!!!! If you do ANYTHING for this I want screenshots or links posted to this collection! If you post a screenshot, enter the URL where you posted it in the Description section of the post form.

If you guys have a hand in generating a serious amount of entries for this thing, everyone who showed significant participation will get a serious reward. Seriously.


SO TAKE NOTE:

• DEADLINE to ENTER is June 2nd at 11:59 am PST.
• Contest is only open to residents in the UK and European Union.
• Participants must be at least 16 years of age by their date of entry.
• The boat will leave from the Tower Bridge Pier at approx 3:30 pm.
• Winners must have their own transportation to the boat location.
• See the rules for more details and specifics.
• Read the full contest rules here.